I am not sure how this comment applies to the topic of logical fallacy, but you raise some interesting points. I agree with you that when a relationship goes bad, that if blame is to be affixed then it is much more healthy for a person to look at the mistakes that they have personally made in the relationship rather than wasting time looking at the mistakes that the other party made.

The former is liable to improve a persons ability to form better relationships in the future, and the later is simply a waste of time and energy. So I suppose your comment does loosely relate to the notion of logical fallacy, in that it is a fallacy to think that you can effect changes in your own life by trying to analyze what someone else did in your past relationships.

That said, I do think that some people (myself included) may have at one time or another demonstrated a tendency to engage in relationships that are less than positive and to associate intimately with people who are more harmful than helpful, in that case the only thing a person can do is to try to recognize the warning signs when they come up and learn to either avoid toxic people or disengage with them as rapidly as possible once they realize that they have entered into a toxic relationship.

I am going to play the Devil’s advocate here.. simply because I have been on both sides of a toxic relationship.. as the “victim” and the “poisoner”.

When I was playing the part of “victim” I found that I blamed every problem issue that arose in my life on that person. If I was having difficulties with my children or with my workplace or with my life in general.. it was because my current partner wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t paying proper attention to our relationship, was an alcoholic, didn’t understand my needs.. etc.

So, instead of focusing on the how and what of changing my own life to support my forward growth, I became immersed in self-pity and blame and guilt.

When I was playing the part of the “poisoner” I did exactly the same things.

The problem seems to be in the reaction of both parties when the newness of a romantic relationship wears off and each one begin to see what they consider to be the flaws or faults in the other person. If there is a strong friendship there.. and a willingness to work together on the problem areas.. the relationship can bloom and foster.

Sometimes, however, life goals and personal expectations may be completely different for each person.. in this case.. one of the parties has to rearrange their own lives to become in synch with the other.. and often feels resentment that life suddenly becomes “all about them.”

I guess my point is that no relationship falls apart due to one party.. it is a joint effort…lol.

Sometimes though, people hold on to that toxicity long after the relationship has ended.. instead of simply realizing that they made a mistake and that life goes on. Let the other person go with your love and your blessings.. what have you got to lose other than a ton of toxicity.

Love and Light..

Silverleaf