I find it difficult sometimes to determine where to draw the line between generosity and firmness. I know that in the field of psychology the knowledge of this is called boundary setting. But the confusion is greater than that, it has to do with knowing whom you owe the most frith to, and how much compasion you should extend to people who are in need.

For example, do you stop to pick up the hitchiker on a cold and wintery day? Chances are that if there are kids in the car, you would choose not to, having heard the stories about hitchiker axe murderers and not wanting to put your children at risk. Fear for family is reinforced by media, and by social agencies. Now anyone who finds themselves walking in the cold is automatically placed into the category of axe murderer and is to be shunned even if they are simply someone who is down on their luck and just trying to get home to their own kids. You never know, and increasingly we are disconnected from each other so that we must view all people with fear and suspicion.

Is this healthy, is this wholesome? For those who have had bad experiences because they extended their trust to the wrong people, the answer is unequivocably yes. For them the motto rings true “better safe than sorry”. But what about those who are so afraid to trust, that they cut themselves off and place themselves in a place with no friends or companions. Is fear and suspicion healthy for those people. What becomes of them when they find themselves down on their luck walking home in the snow?

In recent readings I have been exploring I have run across sites that indicate that we are run by a devilish group of folks who seek only to oppress us through every conceivable trick of the law. I can certainly see how in our ever increasingly disconnected society, that could easily be the best explanation for the observed phenomena. Nevertheless, it seems to me that one of the key ingredints to the demise of the soul within our society is the fact that we do not know how to balance love and severity.

There are times when a compassionate helping hand is needed, but then there are times when the exact opposite is required. Enabling people does them more harm then good. Yet therein lies the crux of the question, at what point does positive helping become negative enabling? To what extent do you turn your back upon a friend or stranger because you are concerned about what the impact of helping them might have upon your own life and the lives of your family members?

In days of old people needed each other more and were more likely to help a stranger than they are today. This was because there was a shared expectation of reciprocity and a common code of ethics among most people. Our society is different now. We are integrating more perspecitves and points of view, all the while, our leaders are increasingly pathological and corrupt and have jaded us to our fellow man.

Where does trust end and self defense begin. I believe that this may be one of the central spiritual questions of our time. Is there a systemic solution or is it simply up to each individual to decide how best to position themselves within this declining situation? At what point (if ever) and at what cost will the pendulum swing, and people will embrace trust and love over fear and severity?